Bird's Eye View.

Who knew perspective could transport you into a whole new world?

The day is finally here. This is the day I begin my journey of a lifetime. One day I will tell my kids and grandkids about the amazing adventure I embarked on when I was "young and free". 

I woke up this morning at 6:39 due to immense excitement. I tried filling my time with long overdue homework, Facebook, and just sitting. I thought maybe it would hit me this morning that I was in fact ACTUALLY leaving. I said more goodbyes and so happy to have the last couple hours of my time at home with some of my best friends.

We arrived at Spokane International Airport right on time, got me checked in, and through security. As I tumbled through the metal detector and re-collected my liquids and electronics, I looked back at my beautiful friends. I'm quite proud of myself actually for not crying, as that's all I know how to do lately. I finally boarded my tiny plane, destination:Seattle.

I finally arrived in Seattle. I had just successfully survived my second ever airplane ride (1st was when I was two years old). It wasn't everything I thought it would be, but I definitely got a rush of excitement as I saw our shadow elevate into the sky and out of all I've known for the last 7 years. As I looked out the window, everything looked SO small. I had never actually looked at something from bird's eye view.

I felt free. I felt like I was playing house and I controlled this little, make-believe world below me. As the clouds we're just at my fingertips and mountain tops just past my reach I knew this journey was becoming a reality. I just felt a little bit of turbulence in the plane and my heart jumped. Just following my scare, John Wall began to play on my ipod and all was well in the world. One more hour until I land in the place I called home for 11 years and haven't seen since moving to beautiful Idaho. Cali baby. Sure I can't leave the airport and experience all that I've missed, but the terminal will do just fine.

The view flying above LA made my face temporarily glued to my window. I couldn't believe how incredible it looked. I cant wait to go back someday! LAX is close to a war zone. I was there 3 hours before my flight and STILL almost missed my airplane Finally onboard and ready for FIJI! Apparently I missed the memo on how to lean my seat back. Needless to say, I was the only person on t he plane awake the whole time :). Finally in Fiji. Most beautiful place in the 

 WORLD…well thus far :). The man sitting next to me on the plane talked to me the entire four hour flight. He and his church are part of this organization against violence towards women. He reminded me that I have rights under women and that God doesn't see me as a gender, but as his prize.

What made me most excited about our talk was that I never  told him I was a Christian. He just knew somehow. I thought that was incredible. It made me happy :). FINALLY off the plane and TOUCHDOWN, hello australia :). I found my family and off we go! So far so good[that seems to be my motto on this adventure thus far]. We went to Seaworld and had a BLAST. The kids and I are bonding amazingly already and the parents are great! Official first day, first stop:church. There is an American singer coming to play in worship today! SO excited. Until next time. <3

What If Your Blue Is My Yellow?

A whole new world can be opened up when you learn more about each other. The title of this particular blog started out as an inside joke, but really got me thinking. What if your blue IS my yellow?

What if what you see isn't what I see? What if everything we think or thought we knew about people had much more underneath it. What if your truth is my lies? What if everyone was completely transparent with those around them? How much do we really know about one another? In the last month I have learned a ton more about myself and who I am and what I stand for.

One day that will be stuck in my mind forever will be last night, 7/19/2011. I had the most amazing, transparent, liberating, incredible conversation I've ever had with anyone in my entire life. Every factor going into that conversation, I believe made it that much more special. Thinking about it I still can't believe I said some of the things I said and heard. The original intent of the conversation gave me no inkling that it would turn into something so mind blowing. When I heard what they had to say, my heart sunk, I felt so honored to be hearing what I heard. When it came to my turn to talk I was a little hesitant, for I wasn't used to having this conversation.

The more I talked, the more free I felt. I didn't have to hold back. I had someone I was being completely transparent with and it felt absolutely amazing. I felt God working in both of our lives and after the conversation was over I couldnt stop praying and spending time with God thanking Him for that conversation. It's a very weird feeling---post conversation. I feel like a huge piece of me, a piece of my past, a piece of my future has been taken and given to me. In addition an amazing new person has become a bigger figure in my life.

This might be confusing to a lot of people, but that's alright. I knew it was something I needed to write about. A huge day in my life, one that I'll never ever forget.

What if your blue IS my yellow...

Who Is That Girl I See?

Who would have thought a whole new world was hiding behind the mask of insecurity? This is definitely more of a random blog, but it was on my heart and I felt like expressing it.

Something I have always prided myself on was not having insecurities. I often look at other girls and even boys and get so frusturated as they tear themselves apart, inch by inch. I've always told myself, " I love you just the way God made you." While for the most part I agree with this, lately I have begun to turn into those people I never thought I'd be.

Since I was probably in kindergarten I got called things like "monkey" and "crater face. At the beginning it absolutely bugged me, but as time went on I just got used to people being mean to me. It really didnt phase me. In high school I'm surprised I didnt have some crazy complex from the vile things people said to me. I didnt know fashion...in the 5th grade, so apparently I looked dirty and needed to take a shower. I was TOO skinny and was called names like Hannarexic. Kids are cruel.

For the longest time, it was my teeth. They were crooked, they were sticking out, they were ugly and I hated what I saw. Although it never became major issue and smiling was my number one facial expression, I still couldn't stand them. I got braces which really excited me, but then after awhile I resented them. I knew I wanted them in the beginning, but now I just wanted them off. I started wearing more makeup. I didnt connect the two at first, but I now realize I was trying to cover up the insecurity of my mouth by bringing the attention to my face.

Finally my braces came off and I knew that was the last step in my tranformation. That was the only big insecurity I had ever had and it was now over. Right after they came off, I remember looking in the mirror as I applied my makeup that morning and thought...I'm ugly. I thought these words AFTER I had put on my makeup. I began to dislike what I looked like with makeup on. The less I put on, the prettier I felt. I would go out in public as soon as I woke up. My looks are no longer a priority in my life. I'm not sure the exact reason why, but I dont want to fight it.

This is me as I'm writing this blog :)

I loved waking up this morning, going upstairs, brushing my teeth, and leaving. It was probably the prettiest I felt in a very long time. Granted, all day I've been doing dreaded and way overdue summer homework so getting out hasn't been a priority, I wish it had been. I took a picture of myself at this exact moment in time. No makeup, hair up, chillin in a sweater, no cares in the world.

Insecurity has been given a whole new meaning to me in the last several months and that could possibly be the reason for my dramatic new point of view of myself. I think having insecurities are healthy. If we didnt, our lives would be perfect and there would be no room to lean on God. I agree we shouldn't let our insecurities totally rule our lives and I think this is God's way of bringing me closer to Him. I understand this is a very random way of bringing this to my attention. However, if I cant love myself in the way He made me, in a way am I mocking Him?

Right out of the shower.

Yes, I'll probably still wear makeup. I'm not totally disregarding it, but definitely a minimal amount. I know I'm beautiful, because I was made in the image of Jesus. A whole new world has been opened up on the other side of the mirror and for that I'm forever grateful.

I love who I am because I love who let me be me.