Here Comes The Son.

My whole world was changed when I realized I had to give my life for the One I loved because He gave His life for the one He loved.

Light up the sky and show me you are with me.

If you read my blogs, I'm sure by now you realize that my relationship with my best friend and Savior is without a doubt the most important one for now and all of eternity. I plan on dedicating my life to showing His love. Whether that be screaming it loud for everyone to hear or simply being a friend to someone. This blog doesn't give me enough characters in the universe to explain my deep love for the Redeemer of my soul.

I'm not one of those believers who will try to convince you of what I believe in because I don't think you can force anyone to love something if they don't want to. My job on this Earth is to be a friend to anyone and everyone that gives me the chance. If by chance I'm asked what is the cause for my happiness and drive in life, I'll gladly tell them of the beautiful human who loved me enough to die for me.

So much is going on in my world right now. I have to physically remind myself that it will get better and that I don't need to worry. I have my support with me at all times and that worrying is just a down payment on something bad that hasn't happened yet. I wish I could just pour out everything going on right now, in depth, and out for everyone to hear, but I just can't do that at this point in my life.

I have a testimony. A path that I traveled on my road to Jesus. Keeping it all inside me, just God and I knowing, I thought was enough for me. Why is it anyone's business about my past, my tribulations, my pain, and my walk in faith. I don't think I ever felt the need to tell anyone because nobody ever asked. Until extremely recently. I hope to find another person that I am able to open up to and release all those feelings within my soul.Until I said it out loud for another human being to hear, I never really realized just how beautiful of a God I have to get me through all those things.We weren't meant to keep everything within us. I still need to get to that point of being able to share it again, but I know that I will never forget that night. I feel so blessed that I was able to share something as precious as my testimony with another person. It really is an extremely liberating experience for anyone who gets the chance to do it.

My family for the last 7 years.

Something I never saw coming has been placed on my heart rather recently. Ever since I could talk I knew I wanted to be a teacher. The idea of helping the next generation learn lessons and understand life was exactly what I've always wanted to do. Towards the end of high school I knew I still wanted to have that impact, but in a different way. I love performing. I don't know if I'm very good at it, but I sure love it. I wanted to be able to do what I loved while still giving that influence I had hoped for all the years before. In the last week, what I believe Jesus planned for me before the beginning of time, has been laid upon my heart.

As I glanced through the pages of the Northwest University catalog at my intended major of: Communications with a concentration in media studies and drama, wasn't what I felt was the right thing to leap into. I still love that part of my life. I want to incoporate that somehow, but I know that is definitely not what God intended for my life. After searching through all the other majors, one stuck out like a sore thumb to me: Youth Ministries. I have talked here and there with friends about how I would love somehow to be involved with youth ministries for the rest of my life, but nothing like this. After looking at the classes I would be taking and praying and thinking about it I realized that it is exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life...well at least until another curveball gets thrown my way! I get to be around people my age[right now], show them God loves them in a fun and exciting way they can understand, and absolutely love my job. The title of "Youth Pastor" still scares me.

Thank you Adam for being an amazing man of God.

Can I do it? Am I cut out for it? Can I really picture myself doing what Rick, Peter, and Adam have done for me over the last 7 years. Will my tattoo hinder me from this? Is this REALLY what Jesus wants for me? I feel like if it is meant to be, it's meant to be and I should stop worrying so much about all the little things. I'm so excited to see what school and this decision have in store for me. I feel like it will be a challenge, but I am SO ready.

Ending this now, because I could definitely go on forever, I just want to say a few things. From here on out I want to publicly express that I will do my best to be more of a person I would want to be around. I know in the past that things that I say and do put ideas of a person I know that I'm not in people's minds. I've been dealing this very magnified in the last few months and I don't want to be that person. If you have those thoughts of me in your head, please let me start new and be the person I was created to be, not the person I created in myself. Finally I ask for your prayer. With all that is going on right now I really need a few things: Jesus, friends, prayer, and support. I know there is absolutely no way I can handle all that I'm going through by myself.

Please Jesus, take on what I cant. Savior of my soul. My best friend. My eternity. Father.

Hold my hand and never let me go. I love you with my heart,soul, and mind.

You are, the universe. You are, everyone on earth.

All I need is You.

In your name I pray, amen.