A whole new world is around the corner from confusion and just behind frustration.
In my stagnant stage of this journey at first was extremely unsettling to me. I have always had the mentality of needing to be entertained always and have things happen when I wanted them to happen. I keep forgetting I believe in a God who has His own timing and direction.
I've been here two weeks and I'm missing people more than ever. I knew and I know that I can do this for six months without feeling "homesick", however, I thought that meant having more contact with back home. Just the thought of having the people I love thinking of me gives me comfort. I crave their communication in whatever way that may be. Phone calls, text messages, heytells, Facebook, anything. Between all that's been going on since I've been here, all I want to do is talk to home and feel the comfort of normalcy. I'm constantly checking my phone and my Facebook in hopes of hearing a familiar voice or seeing a familiar name.
Besides all of the complaining I could do about this place, maybe I'm not looking close enough into why God has opened this window for me. It's hard to be truly thankful and grateful for what we have. We are never completely satisfied in what we do. This is where I have noticed God coming into the picture. While I'm here trying to create my own destiny, I'm missing out experiencing the true paradise of this unknown world. Everything I've complained about while here have all been man made, man created, man destroyed establishments. The one place I've gone continuously and have truly seen beauty and a glimpse of the reason I'm here is at the ocean shores. Laying at the foot of a vast and mysterious ocean I'm not troubled or stressed.
I go to the Hillsong church again tomorrow morning for the Sunday service and I am beyond excited. Something about Hillsong has always resonated with me. They to this day are the only band that I could listen to all day every day and never get tired of hearing it. Every word they sin, I get chills. i FEEL God when I hear them, it's absolutely stunning and a feeling I could never explain. The mixture of their incredible voices and their unbelievable love for God make them so appealing.
Speaking of Hillsong. In this time of transition and figuring out where I'm going on this journey I have one place on my mind: Sydney. I'm looking into nanny agencies down there to hopefully find a better fit and actually prosper financially.
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Her and I definitely need actual pictures of just us
together. Don't mind the crazy person in the back.
We don't know him. |
Back to why this has anything to do with Hillsong. One of my very dearest friends, Devyn 'DEVO' Johnsen is attending the Hillsong College there. I am so excited and am really hoping thats where God wants me to be! Let me go off on a little DEVO tangent real quick hurrr now. Miss Devyn Elise has become one of my greatest friends. I still to this second can't even believe we are friends. 1 year ago I felt the exact opposite way of how I do right now. I told her this, but I really think we are a prime example of the miracles God creates for us to see every day. I'm so blessed beyond belief to have her and people like her in my life. I can't wait until she is here with me :).
Next. So I've been thinking tattoos once again….;). In my head I keep fighting with myself. I keep thinking about other people. What will they think? They probably think I have too much. They probably will think I'm weird. They they they. I personally think there is nothing wrong with tattoos. I think that getting them JUST to get them could be a little overboard. However, they are a form of expression. They are kind of like Facebook. You put things all over your wall. If you don't want anyone to see them, then don't put them up for everyone to see. You can learn a lot about people by what they look like. Whether that be how much makeup they wear/dont wear, style of clothing, and tattoos. I've been trying to decide what I wanted for quite awhile now. I've had ideas but this one kept creepin' in the back of my head. I think the reason I kept it back there was because I felt like more words on my body would make me look like a novel. If it is done the correct way, I know that I won't worry so much about it. Another thought in my mind was: both of my other tattoos are clearly symbolic and unique in their own ways and this one would not be as in depth as the others. Once again, the more it resonates in my mind the more I know it's what I want to do.
Oh…you actually want to hear the idea? My bad. So I want a cross (how cliche, I know), with the word Overcome under it or around it or however I see it fit. Why 'overcome'? God overcoming the cross for me.Overcoming hurdles in my life with God by my side. The things I will overcome through Christ and Christ alone. Overcoming my fear in this current journey. Overcoming what the world wants for me. I could go on all day. I've been thinking my wrist is where I want to put it, but I'm so nervous to put it on my arm. I don't even understand why. Is it because it's too noticeable and out there? That brings two things to my brain. If I was ashamed to let people see it, why should I get it if I keep it tucked away scared of what the world thinks and I have a tattoo on my chest for the whole world to see unless I'm wearing a turtleneck and I'm scared about my wrist? That's just silly. Anyways. Those are my thoughts.
Week two down under and still sitting in transit is getting less unsettling to me. I'm starting to understand that there really is something here that was specifically planned for me, by Him, and I just need to trust Him more now than ever before.
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| Start listening to what He has to say. |
